Out the Kitchen Window

So there's this man. I see him 2-3 times everyday. I leave for work about 6:30 AM and often see this man when I open the garage door and back out to drive away. Don't get the wrong idea, he's not a stalker or anything. He's just walking his dog. I see him in the morning, sometimes in the middle of the day and often in the evenings. So he walks his dog around the park frequently. He doesn't usually make eye contact. I've tried. I try to wave or smile and I think I've seen him smile back at me. He stands out to me for a couple of reasons: he walks so often, he wears the same outfit each time, he wears a turban and his wife (I think she's his wife) often walks about 50 paces behind him. Now, I'm sure I'm revealing a ton of assumptions and biases, though I hope not too many prejudices. I feel naive and ignorant about different cultures of the world. But I can't help deny that it's always bothered me that his wife walks behind him. I think about what it's like to be them. I wonder if they are in perfect agreement about the walking arrangement. I wonder if they even notice it or if it's something that's just natural and nothing to think about. I wonder if it bothers her but doesn't bother him. He always appears so calm and peaceful and I can't help but respect him for that and for the way he is clearly taking time to take care of himself by walking so frequently. I've wanted to stop and have an excuse to talk to him somehow, or even better, stop and talk to her. But it's so invasive of me to just want to talk to them to better understand how they feel about their walking arrangement. So, I just observe and wonder and try not to judge.

Well, yesterday, something different happened. I was standing in the kitchen, talking on the phone to my sister and staring out the kitchen window, when the man came walking by on the sidewalk opposite of my house as usual, and what do you know, his wife (I assume) was walking next to him, and for about 10 paces, he held her hand! I had to interrupt my sister to share the news! He was not only walking next to her, but he was holding her hand. By the time they were exiting the left side of my view out the kitchen window, they had dropped hands, but they were still walking side-by-side. Now, I'm sure they're perfectly happy the way they are with their own routines and patterns and that I'm just projecting my own images of what happiness looks like onto them, but I admit I felt better and smiled for quite a while after seeing them out the kitchen window.

You can get mosquito bites on the bottom of your feet! Who knew?

Turns out you can get mosquito bites on the bottom of your feet. The morning after the kitty litter volcano, my daughter complained of itchy bites on her feet. I thought maybe I'd neglected to wash the sheets or something horrible. But it turns out she got mosquito bites while building the kitty litter volcano outside. And not only did she get bites, but she got a bite on the bottom of her foot. For most people, this would merely be an annoyance, but for my daughter, it's catastrophic. She once got a bite on her thigh and the swelling went from her knee to her crotch. A bite on her cheek sealed her eye shut. And a bite on her hand filled up her hand like a rubber glove balloon. So, needless to say, she was up all night last night crying with the pain of swollen skin. A bite on her toe made her toe look like a little sausage about to burst. How do you fix that? We did the benadryl for the allergic reaction and ibuprofen for pain and ice for swelling and hugs and cool wash cloths and topical hydrocortizone for itching. No relief. Poor thing. Eventually, she just has to suck it up and wait for the swelling to go down. And, to make matters worse, we canceled our weekend train ride to the city, because she's definitely not spending the weekend walking around the streets of San Francisco in the rain on mosquito bitten feet. Who knew, you can get mosquito bites on the bottom of your feet?

Kitty Litter Volcano

Here's the second entry. So, last night, randomly, my daughter brings a book out of her "library" called Kitchen Science. She decides to build a volcano and do the whole baking soda and vinegar thing. She won't wait for anything (SO independent). She's up on the counter trying to find baking soda and is mad when I tell her this needs adult supervision. Well, right off the bat, she's super mad because we don't have baking soda. I convince her I can bring it home from school tomorrow, but she's still mad she can't do it RIGHT NOW. I delay the fit by suggesting she build the volcano today and we do the explosion tomorrow. At first, she decided to go "take" (steal) sand from the park across the street. She comes back in the house 2 minutes later and is deterred by the "crowds" at the park. Apparently, she knows this is stealing and can't bring herself to do it in front of others. So, we are at a draw. I suggest she use the dirt pile in the back yard. It's all the terrible dirt that we can't use for anything else. Nope, not good enough, she wants sand. All I can think of is the container of kitty litter in the garage that we don't use anymore. Ehh, can't think of anything wrong with it, so, I suggest a kitty litter volcano. She jumps on the idea and forgets that we can't still actually explode the volcano for another day. So, she and her brother go out in the back yard. They're busy for at least an hour. They keep coming into the house for cups of water. At the end, at least an hour later, there's a tall, perfectly conical volcano in a pie tin. She has 5 mosquito bites, including one on the bottom of her foot (how do you get a mosquito bite on the bottom of your foot? I don't know.).  This is actually bad because she seems to be allergic to mosquito bites... the doctor's actually prescribed an epi pen, "just in case." SO, anyway, the volcano is done and it's perfect. It weighs like 80 pounds and lands itself on the kitchen island. The two kiddos head to the shower, where I'm sure the kitty litter sludge made it down the drain to perfectly clog our sewer system. Perfect night over (see attached picture, if I can figure out how to attach it). SO, tonight, we decide to erupt the volcano when daddy can make it home from work to see. We do. We let my daughter run the show as it is her idea. She adds, red dye, then green dye to the vinegar. They get eruption after eruption and love every minute of it. We even film it. My husband and I decide they should know the science behind it. So we go on to have (over bowls of ice cream) a 30-minute discussion about chemical equations (it somehow begins with Democritus and ends with playing with refrigerator magnets. Ever seen the Big Bang Theory where Sheldon is trying to teach Penny about Physics?... Kind of like that!). Best night ever! The kids clearly love science. The moment that brought me to tears was when my 7-year-old says "So the atom with one electron is going to find an atom with 7 electrons... They want to be together!"  if only she could be in my 8th grade class. We end by talking about how fun learning is, and that, when they hear someone say, "I'm bored", that means, "I don't get it," because anything is interesting once we truly understand it. I love my kids. I love learning. I love teaching. Good night!

First Time

Ok. Never blogged before. I always thought I had tons to say but no one to say it to. The truth is, I have tons to say but, really, no one wants to hear all this. But this is for me, so here I go. I'm a mom first, a talker second, and a teacher third. I can't help but carry all three of those perspectives into whatever I say. I don't really want anyone to know who I am, so I'll just leave it with that general description.

As a mom, to start, here it is. I have the best children on the planet. If I didn't think so, I wouldn't be a mom, right? Having them and being their mom is the best thing that ever happened to me and is clearly what I was meant to do. But being a mom alone isn't enough. They become their own people and, slowly, you have to develop the rest of you. So, I am a mom, first, a teacher, second, and a talker third.

Why am I starting this now? I've been a teacher for ten years and a parent for 9. My  husband is not sure he wants to be a dad and husband anymore. I love him. We are great together. From the beginning, we've been connected. People ask what we see in each other and I don't really know. I just know that when we leave a gathering, I've never wanted to spend more time with any man we've ever met. I've always thought my husband and I just get each other. We connect like we don't with anyone else. It's like we were familiar with each other before we even met. We're just comfortable. And, apparently, that's not enough. I don't know what else we need, but I guess we need something. That's an intro to the mom/wife of me. More about that later.

I'm also a teacher. I teach middle school and have for ten years now. Of those ten years, I've been pink slipped (laid off) 5. That's a lot of instability. I seriously lost half of my hair last summer waiting to hear my fate... and I have a lot of hair. I'm good at teaching. That's not wildly egotistical or anything. That's the feedback I receive. I enjoy it. But it is also reaching it's end. There's more to do, less to do it with and I just believe there are so many other things I will have fun doing. So that's another perspective I'll be coming from.

Finally, I love to talk. I believe (well, my sister told me one time) that I'm the white Oprah. I don't really believe that. But I do love to talk. I think if I had good conversation with interesting people (with really good food and wine) for the rest of my life, that's all I need (and to know that my children are happy). So the third perspective that I carry is that of a person seeking interesting people to talk to and anyone willing to listen.

Here it goes: pay attention if you think you'll connect with a teacher in trying times, trying to be a mom in a struggling marriage, and someone that just believes in good conversation and the desire to talk. I don't think anyone will read this. I don't even know how anyone sees it, but I already feel better for writing it down.

Thank you for sharing in this conversation. Here we go!

--- Teaching Mom Talks