Last night I was at a friends' product party and a friend of hers was there with her kids. All of our kids were playing in a back bedroom and watching movies back there. One of the friends' daughters came out into the kitchen and said, "Mommy, he won't listen to me." She said, "He doesn't have to. Now go." And the little girl did. It was awesome! Truly refreshing. I wanted to get up and applaud. I have to admit, I was expecting the thing I usually see parents, probably including myself, do, which is, stop the adult conversation, go have a talk with the child, try to comfort, try to go back and see if we can work something out with the other child. But the real truth is, he doesn't have to listen to you, no one does. And the sooner we figure that out, the better. Make it work. Figure it out. Get over it.
I'm finding the same thing in my classroom this year more than I ever have in the past eleven years of teaching. Kids are waiting to be told exactly what to do, including turning the page, putting their name on the paper or turning the paper over to do the work on the back. I've made my content the second priority and working on resiliency, following directions, listening, independence, confidence and perseverance my first priority. I've made it clear to kids I will give directions very clearly one time and make sure that I have everyone's attention. I will give them a chance to ask questions. After that, no repeating directions. I've let them know they'll lose points if they don't follow directions. I've told them I will not do anything for them that they can do for themselves. I've told them I know they can Make It Work, Figure It Out, and Get Over It. I'll be there to help and guide. But they have to do it and they can.
I really think we need a whole lot more of this kind of religion. A lot more of developing people that really believe they can Make It Work, Figure It Out, and Get Over It.
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