The fist bump is stupid and I'm sick of it. Seriously, does anyone else not see this? I keep waiting for the witty social commentary on the news or in a sitcom about how stupid the fist bump is. But I wait in vain. It came and now it's time for it to go. But it's lingering a little longer than expected. I really believe everyone thinks it's stupid, but due to group mentality and the pressure to fit in and be cool and act younger, no one wants to say anything.
Ok. Let's get to the crux of it. Describe the moments in which you'd typically like to "fist bump"... ok, screw it, "high five" someone (because no one really wants to fist bump anyone)? What do every single one of these moments have in common: adrenaline and emotion. When you high five someone, you can get as carried away as you want. You can really wind up and smack that hand. Sometimes it hurts and you regret it a little bit, true. But you're not going to break any bones. The fist bump is precarious in nature, not an action that matches the emotion of the moment. By definition, you must approach fist bumps gingerly, with a controlled, gentle knocking of knuckles. These are none of the things I want to be distracted with in the heat of the moment. I want to smack someone's hand and smack it hard. And I believe, everyone else feels the same way. Can you imagine a full force fist bump in the heat of the moment at the end of some championship of anything other than chess? There would be broken bones. It's just stupid. And who ever invented it was not thinking. But everyone else who does it is not thinking even more. Take a stand. Refuse to fist bump. High five like God intended.
Hahahaha! I am an overzealous fist bumper. I've done some damage to some people. But hey, they keep putting their fists up, even knowing that I've come in too hot before. So it's really their fault, right? RIGHT?!?
ReplyDeleteI'll try to stick to the high five with you, since you find it so egregious. LOL
I appreciate your willingness to differentiate your celebratory hand contact with me. Very sensitive of you. :)
DeleteI have realized that I don't really have many opportunities to 'fist bump' or 'high five'. And most of the time, when I do try it, I get left hanging with my hand in the air, at least with the high five I can pretend I was raising my hand, or swatting a fly. But to be left hanging with the so stupid fist bump, is to appear to be knocking on an invisible door. There really is no way to hide it.
ReplyDeleteSo for me, I will stick with the tried and true, "atta' girl/boy!"
You could always try the butt slap. See you that works out for ya! :)
DeleteWhere is the like button for your reply to her comment? You have me cracking up on a Monday...thank you very much!
DeleteGlad to oblige, Caching Queen! :)
DeleteJust reread this entry and when I got to the very end, in my head, I heard, "I AM GOD, AND I APPROVED THE HIGH FIVE!" Oy vey! I'm ready for the elections to be over already!!! lol
ReplyDeleteAgreed!
DeleteI shall be honest here, I don't see what you are getting at, the fist bump is a greeting and as far as I have seen it is here to stay, also, having gone through highschool and half of college, I have yet to see two idiots stupid enough to smash their fists together. Maybe I am just sheltered, but at this point is like complaining about rock and roll when it first came out.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, if you don't like it, don't do it, just offer a high five first.
I am a very traditional person and during a time when I would shake another person's hand and they offers a "fist bump" I just withdraw my hand and leave them hanging and hopefully wanting to ask why so I can let them know I don't have to try fitting into the teenage world.
ReplyDelete"Fist bumps" are very unprofessional in a business world or events such as church and I'll never go along.
So, in summary, I agree with with anyone who doesn't do the "fist bump".