Reconciliation: What is That?

When should you give in? When should you say you're sorry? When should you forgive all? Ya see, there are different levels of reconciliation. Let's be honest. If there are no kids: reconciliation is harsh. You don't do it. You get rejected, cheated on, ignored, unappreciated... you call it quits. But when there are kids, you've entered a whole new game. Today in class, I read some cards from the kids. Yesterday, I gave the kids a couple minutes to write something on an index card. I told all students to put their name on it and told them they were all turning it in. I said they could ask me a question they hadn't been able to ask up until now or share something with me they thought I ought to know to help me be a better teacher to them or say nothing at all.

I got many cards with nothing but names on them. I got many cards with, "I feel better about this class, and you seem nice, and I'm excited about science", etc. But I got a few (4/108) that scare me, make me sad, make me want to adopt kids and take them home tomorrow. I got a card A with., "I'm sensitive about my height, I'm sensitive about my race, I'm sensitive about my family". I got card B with, "I'm weird. Nobody likes me. I don't like me. No one wants to be around me. I am struggling in school. Everything is hard." I got card C with, "My dad left my house two days ago and I'm having a hard time focusing on homework and classwork." I got card D with, "I have some problems at home. My dad is in jail. I feel insecure. I have a weak bladder. I feel depressed sometimes. I hurt myself sometimes, but not recently." Rest at ease, each of these students have interventions going on the minute I saw their cards.

But for me, personally, the idea is, what is reconciliation? The moment you get a hint of an apology or any hint of an appreciation of the past or what matters, do you forgive it all and give it a shot? Here's what I think: if you have kids, you give it a shot forever. Unless there's some unforgivable line, you give it a shot forever. If there's ever a chance that kids can have their parents together in a friendly way, I think it should happen. So, some of you may know that I seem to be swallowing a whole lot of craziness when I shouldn't be anymore. I'm not a martyr, but believe me when I say I think it's far better for the kids to have two parents together, even when they aren't two great parent. I think the alternative is yuckier (up to a point, I know).