So many stories could start this way. My favorite perspective on drunk stories is my own though. I think it's hysterical, in hindsight, when I realize I was super worried about being a fool and a drunk in front of people and working so hard to maintain my respectability and dignity when I realize none of the people I was with would ever have noticed anything since they were on pace with me and probably equally worried about themselves!
So, I knew you were drunk when:
- You decided to leave a message for the boys in their gravel driveway on a 100 degree day with your bare hand. You felt nothing, but yes, there were blisters the next day.
- You challenged the guys to shots.
- You wanted to never ever leave or stop dancing.
- You wanted to "relax" on the couch with your eyes closed and refused to let me hold your glass of wine.
- You went to sleep in the hot tub and were ok with it.
- You went to sleep with me on "The Zipper" at the county fair in high school.
- You kissed me.
- You let me kiss you.
- You pulled down the shower curtain when trying to find the door or bathroom light switch.
- You ate pasta like you were going on Hunger Games tomorrow.
Ok. I could dig and come up with many more. But sadly, or not, I realize all I'm coming up with are "I knew I was drunk when" memories. Looking back, I think I've been the ridiculously entertaining drunk friend. I won't even start to share my "I knew I was drunk when" stories because, well, that's just embarrassing. So, what are your best, "I knew you" or "I knew I was drunk when" stories? It should be a bathroom book.
Apparently when I'm drunk, I do the "surf dance" that signals to all around that the cartoons are about to start. And I have a video of a certain individual illustrating the #5 in your list, complete with snoring.
ReplyDeleteI have another slightly skewed version of "I knew you were NOT drunk" when a $10 bill was just too far, but the other $9 was JUST FINE! LOL
Of course, $10 was just over the top, but $9 was perfect!
DeleteWas the $9 me? Birddog? Home bar? Dugout?
ReplyDeleteI knew "we" we're drunk when you were whispering through the door and I tried quietly knocking in the door with my boot and the door fell in with you on it still whispering to let us in. That was a great story to tell the landlord.
ReplyDeleteThat was awesome! And so, visceral. The sight of your boot, the banging noise, the flying, then the laying inside on the hard door in the dark looking up at you still in the hallway in the light and really not totally understanding how I got there. Makes me smile. :)
DeleteD4. You totally just made me laugh out loud. One of my favorite drunk stories and I didn't even remember to include it. I was leaning on the door trying (quietly) to get someone on the other side to let us in from our extended night of drunken excapades. There was a loud boom, boom, boom, a feeling of flying, a realization of lying on a big wooden door on a living room floor, a sinking feeling of "Oh, no... we're going to hear about this from our new husbands tomorrow", and then, "Holy shit, she's strong" and "Oh, God, wonder how much it will cost to fix that door?" I love you for that night. I love you for that memory. You are a badass then and always. Never forget that. And, yes, I knew you were drunk when you kicked in a door I was leaning on without regard for my well being or the expense to you for the bill from your landlord.
ReplyDeleteWow, the burnt hands from gravel art is cracking me up. But I do believe I might be #3, and #4. I am #3 quite often. Never want the fun to end. I also believe #2 has happened on occasion, not always with a pretty outcome.
ReplyDeleteCaching Queen's reference to #5 I witnessed personally. Hysterical
My claim to fame while intoxicated is 'hair dancing'. I tend to dance provocatively (not well, mind you) and run my hands through my hair and think I am really good looking and look good doing it. Pathetic, but entertaining none the less.
Thanks for the laughs, and next time in person, I have got to hear this door story.
Keep blogging!
You'll have to ask D4 for the door story, and yes, you are probably most of them. :)
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